Dec 18

Santa Claus

We made our annual visit to the ‘Lights of Lakeland’ hosted by Highland Park Church. I enjoyed it last year and this year it was even better. The kids visited Santa & Mrs. Claus. We even met Buddy, the elf. He was a riot.

– steve

Dec 15

It took some searching, but I finally found it.  For me, Christmas looses a little more of its magic each year as the commercialism runs away with the show.  It seems reindeer and snow people are replacing the nativity scenes that were once a very common part of Christmas decorating.  Then came the inflatables.  I personally can’t stand them.  There is no way I’m installing an inflatable snow globe with a circumference that will eat up my entire front yard.  Don’t get me started on the energy they consume or the fact that they look like trash in your yard when powered off.  Anyway, I said the only way I was getting an inflatable - was if it was an inflatable Jesus.  Well folks, here is what I’ve come up with:

holy family

It’s ordered and should be here soon.  Now the only question is how to break this news to my wife, who I’m certain will think I’m nuts.  Sorry babe, don’t worry - I used the Amex card.  :) 

“Dear tiny infant Jesus, I just want to take time to say thank you for my family.  My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons.  My lovely, precious daughter.  And of course my red hot smokin’ wife, who is a stone cold fox.”  — Ricky Bobby  (adapted slightly to fit my family)

Anyone interested can order theirs here.  Lets bring back some Christmas magic.

– steve

Dec 13

milk cow

My friend Travis proclaims that the Velda Farms processing facility in his hometown has installed a special brown tank just for the chocolate milk. To this I said, “what?” You can read the details here. There was some healthy office debate surrounding the issue so I figured I had to step in. I made contact with Velda Farms through their corporate website to which I received this reply:

Steve,
Thank you for contacting Velda Farms. To answer your question / settle the
bet so to speak, you both are right and wrong. The outside color of the
tanks do not signify anything other than age and exposure to natural
elements. All of our tanks hold something different. Sorry for the debate
killer. I am always please to hear from a happy customer.

Should you need further assistance, either e-mail us back through this
website, or contact our Customer Service Department at 800-795-4649. Have a
wonderful day!

Best regards,

Rachael
Customer Service Manager
Velda Farms, LLC

So that’s it then. Sorry to spoil the milk… debate. It was cool of them to respond to such a dumb question in the first place.

– steve

Dec 12

I had to have a smart phone. They seem like such a great idea. A gadget that does it all: e-mail, phone, browser, music, contacts, word processing, calculator… The list goes on. I earn my living in Information Technology, using many products, many Microsoft branded so I chose a Windows Mobile smart phone. It was awful. So frustrating to use that it met an untimely demise just a few months into the new cellular contract. I mean seriously - the thing took four or five steps just to dial a contact. It wasn’t intuitive at all.

SmartPhone

I asked Cingular to sell me the cheapest replacement handset I could get. I decided to downgrade to dial tone only. Forget the bells and whistles. (plus I couldn’t afford an iPhone which is probably world’s most perfect device in every way) Cingular told me that it would cost nearly $300 to get a new handset. Holy crap. I explained to the customer service rep that I was leaving the store to go on eBay where I planned to buy a used device. I asked his advice on what to look for.

Suddenly, he became sympathetic and helpful. He looked left, then right, scanning the room as if he needed to know who was about to hear the secret he was about to reveal. “Just get a Go Phone.” he said. Slide your undamaged SIM card from the destroyed smart phone into the $19 go phone you can buy at Big Box Mart, and shazzam! I drove one block down the road to Target and did just that. Moments after installing my SIM card into this phone, it was ringing. It was my lovely wife calling to see how my day was going.

The sad part of this story is that the helpful guy at Cingular \ AT&T would probably be reprimanded or worse if he were caught passing this useful information on to customers. It’s suspicious that they don’t sell go phones in the Cingular \ AT&T store - don’t you think?

– steve

Dec 11

5guyking                 Ronald is the 5th brother!

My father-in-law turned me on to a new burger place. It’s pretty hard to get excited about a hamburger stand since everybody makes a hamburger and fries. 5 Guys, however, exceeds any reasonable expectation you might have about a burger place in terms of value, quality, & portion. Great food, fair prices and that little extra thing that tickles me is the simplicity of their process. Order 98! Order 99! Zero! All food is bagged to go. There’s no ‘here or to-go’ nonsence and no 8-digit order numbers. They focus on their strength. Burgers & fries. The king has been dethroned. Removed from authority.  Even loyal ‘arches’ fans are converting.  The people have spoken. Eat 5 guys. (never thought I’d need that phrase)

– steve